An Excerpt from My Upcoming Book: “From Filthy Rags to Glorious Riches”
By the grace and to the glory of God, my first book will be released in December 2025. It’s entitled, “From Filthy Rags to Glorious Riches – An Orphan No Longer,” and below I am sharing the book’s Introduction, “Lost Until Found.”
Lost Until Found
I fondly remember being an observant and impressionable little girl in the 1970’s. Adults often told me how impressed they were with how I tended to notice the smallest, seemingly most insignificant details about people’s appearances, demeanors, words, or the surrounding environment and setting. These skills made me an expert at the seek-and-find picture puzzles in the Highlights magazines that were all the rage at the time. I enjoyed these tremendously and devoured each issue and puzzle almost as soon as it arrived at our house.
Then, I did the same at the dentist because his office had stockpiles of these magazines in the waiting room. Besides, they were a great escape from the undeniable anxiety that plagued me before the dental hygienist called my name for x-rays, cleaning, and exam. Escape was the perfect antidote. I disliked the dentist, and I still do.
Besides the Highlights seek-and-find puzzles, I was also enthralled with the story of Little Orphan Annie. It was a Broadway musical called “Annie” at the time my fascination began, and it later became a movie on the big screen. I am pretty sure we had it on VHS tape, and I watched it so many times that the tape itself warped, which then affected the quality of the on-screen picture. My brother did the same with Star Wars.
I watched for the 506th time (probably not an exaggeration) and saw the screen streaked with these annoying lines and imperfections. Sometimes certain frames were so squiggly and jumbled – along with the audio – that I really couldn’t make them out, but because I had watched so many times before the tape warped, I had the benefit of my memory to fill in the images and sounds exactly as I remembered them to be. They had become indelible imprints on my mind. Technology has of course come a long way since then, but I know for a fact anyone reading this who is my age or older will understand exactly what I mean.
I had many more interests as a little girl. I was a creative child who loved to dance, draw, paint, color, write, sew, act, perform, produce, etc. But as I think about my specific interests in Highlights puzzles and Annie, there is a subtle yet undeniable connection between the two. It is one that could be easily missed, yet one that resonates so deeply within my soul that I can’t miss it. The connection is this: both relate to something or someone being lost and then subsequently found.
In Highlights seek-and-find puzzles, obviously the very mission is for the reader to become a seeker and find the listed objects that are hidden (lost) in the picture. Just like the little girl immersed in a Highlights seek-and-find puzzle, I spent much of my life seeking and exploring the things of this world to find meaning, as well as my value, purpose, and identity.
Similarly, “Annie” is the story of a young girl who is orphaned due to the death of both her both parents and then gets lost in the orphanage system. She is ultimately found by a rich and influential man and adopted. While I was fortunate to have both my parents growing up, the truth is our home was dysfunctional, and I could relate to Annie and her orphan lifestyle in many ways. It was a hard-knock life so-to-speak, and I fantasized about the day some rich and influential man would find and rescue me.
Until then, I chose to live my life as independently and autonomously as I could, using my own internal GPS (“IGPS”) to navigate my way. By all outward appearances, I had it all together and was anything but lost. I had plenty of evidence available to support this, too. I was basically living the American Dream – married, two children, two incomes, a house in the ‘burbs with the white picket fence. Life was not perfect, of course, but I knew it could be so much worse. Based on the evidence, I was not lost. In fact, it appeared as if I had arrived in life, all thanks to my IGPS.
If we think about the GPS that is on our phones or in our cars, we all know the purpose of it is to ensure we do not get lost on our way to a destination we define. Metaphorically speaking, we are each given an internal GPS – our IGPS, or free will – through which we navigate this life. We own the IGPS; we control the IGPS – hence why I call it IGPS. “I own it, I control it.” We program the IGPS and tell it where we want to go and how we want to get there. It’s not surprising then that my IGPS ensured I arrived exactly where I wanted to go and how and when I wanted to get there. By my hand, it ensured I arrived.
Despite all the outward appearances, the reality is that as I drove through life using my IGPS, I took countless detours and drove down many dark, hidden roads. My proverbial IGPS-equipped car was full of luggage (baggage) I accumulated along the way, and I brought my best and closest friends along for my life’s road trip, some I didn’t even know I had – Trauma, Rejection, Addiction, Borderline Personality Disorder, Religion, Deception, Pride, to name just a few. I probably picked up some hitchhikers along the way, too. The more the merrier, as they say.
By the time I turned 46 years old, the car was quite full and quite chaotic. The noise, chatter, and clutter were overwhelming, so I just turned the radio up louder to drown and numb it all out and keep barreling down highways, by-ways, and side roads. Eventually, this proverbial car became so full that it was a struggle to see out of the windshield. This is because I was so busy trying to outrun the shame, guilt, and condemnation I saw behind me as I looked through the rear- and side-view mirrors.
I kept driving and driving and lying to myself, telling myself I was “good, fine, okay, no one is perfect and no one’s life is perfect, and I’m still a good person despite my struggles and sin.” Then one day, like the scene from “Thelma and Louise,” my so-called friends and I careened over the edge of the road and into a ditch. My IGPS kept screaming “Proceed to the route!” in an effort to keep me heading in the same old direction. However, I needed a few moments to recover from the blow of the landing and assess the extent of the damage. The car wasn’t drivable, much less movable, and I was not in any shape to drive. I was stuck. I was shaken.
While I would not have called them “great” at the time, there were two great outcomes of landing myself in that ditch. First, in that moment I was forced to stop and look around at the wreckage, and for the first time in my life I realized just how lost I was. It was undeniable in those moments, and so many questions arose within me. “How did I get here? What have I done? Who and what have I become?” See, my IGPS helped me navigate through life, but it didn’t help keep me on the road and it couldn’t help with the consequences of my distracted, reckless, and careless driving.
The second great outcome was the realization that I was not getting out of that ditch alone. I needed someone to come find me and rescue me. I made the call for help. As it turned out, a rich and influential man found and rescued me. His name is Jesus Christ.
He wasn’t the one I was expecting, yet He was undoubtedly the one I needed, and most importantly, the one I had been looking for all my life.
He showed up, just like the emergency crews with the jaws of life would have, had this been a real accident. He pulled me from the wreckage, just like we read about in Psalm 40:1-3 NLT:
“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.”
This is why I believe it is most appropriate for me to say I was lost until I was found. I didn’t realize how lost I was until I did. I didn’t realize I needed to be found and rescued until I did. I was lost until I was found, and I have been joyriding with Jesus ever since. This book is the story of my journey with Jesus from orphanhood to daughterhood, and how He traded my filthy rags for His glorious riches.
This work is copyrighted.
Leave a Reply